|All-Star Masters Squad Needs Goalie|
|Message Date: 7/11/2016 11:03:18 PM|
|Author: Public Public|
|Subject: All-Star Masters Squad Needs Goalie|
I'm with the StagDogs masters water polo team (men). We don't technically exist. In fact, I'm breaking the first Rule of Water Polo Club just being here. That said: we exist.
Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding with the USDA regarding large quantities of unregistered bovine growth hormones finding their way into our no-longer-secret state-of-the-art weight training facility in southwestern Nevada, our goalie is now persona non grata. Though he is 288 pounds of nicely marbled American Choice.
So we are registered for the Shaver Lake Open Water somethingorrather tournament in the Masters/Open category (July 14-17 2016) We are looking for a mercenary to join the rest of the mercenaries in the GOALIE position for the duration of this tournament. This position is UNPAID, but the team will cover tournament costs, meals, and incidentals, as those are sunk costs. Pun intended.
This person should stand taller than Indiana corn on the 4th of July. He should be able to recite lines from obscure films of the 80's and 90's - not just all willy-nilly, but with the savvy and timing of a seasoned line-dropper. He should be funny but not annoying. I know, that's asking a lot of a goalie.
He should be able to block 75% of the shots that are within arms-length and 100% of the shots that are within some unreasonable metric that we will decide, most likely after the fact.
We run a 2-1-2-1 zone formation. We like to counter attack with 10 seconds left on the shot-clock and shoot backhands when least expected, so he should be prepared to see a lot of action. There will also be many ejections, so he will get plenty of 6/5 drill time.
Our team consists of men drawn from CMC (California Men's Colony - Penal League Div. I) as well as other second tier water polo regions like Orange County and maybe some pasty east coast chap or two. We are an easy-going bunch, really.
If you, or someone you know, wants to join us for some freshwater ball, we have a spot for you. There is camping up there right by the lake and we may be able to talk about other arrangements, including potential carpool from OC/LA area on the 14th.
If the he is actually a she, well that's cool too. We are all the same in the water. Except for the different suits. Because of the different parts. And the different sounds of our voices. And probably but not definitely the facial hair. But from the perspective of the ball, we're the same.